I Am Opening Up In Sweet Surrender

This speaks deeply to my soul this morning.

I Am Opening Up In Sweet Surrender


I am opening up in sweet surrender to the luminous love light of the One.
I am opening / Ya Fattah (one the 99 Beautiful Names of Allah, The Opener of the Way)


~*~*~*~*~


Yesterday I struggled.  I felt no inspiration and was angry.  The more I searched for something to inspire me, to pull me out of the funk, the worse I felt.  I cried.  I missed the grace and peace that was so palpable only a few weeks ago.  I wanted to roll back the clock, even to the point of repeating the first week of the Red Tent...pain and all.  How else could I get that back?


Then I heard this song and I played it again and again.  


At first the Ya Fattah call bothered me in it's masculinity.  I've been so focused on the feminine that it seemed off kilter.  The reality is both energies exist within each of us.  I needed that balance today.  Moreover though, I needed the reminder that opening is a process.  It didn't happen overnight the first time around, yet, I remember I had the same rush-rush-rush-want-it-now sensations then too.  


It is a process though and it has to be nurtured daily.  I was spoiled by the abundance of energy surrounding my surgery.  In the days leading up to it I consciously and mindfully sent distance-Reiki to the hospital and staff, from surgeon and his team to the administrative personnel.  The energy was available to anyone that could potentially work with or for me during my stay there.  My friends and loved ones were flooding me with Reiki, loving-healing energy, and prayers as well.  It was everywhere and readily available to draw upon.


That influx of energy was exactly what I needed.  Now that I'm several weeks into recovery though I've become lazy.  The energy isn't as strong because *I* haven't been helping myself the way I should.  Schedules have prevented me from getting the weekly Reiki treatment I hoped for, true.  But I haven't given myself Reiki as I should.  Yesterday's meltdown came from the depletion of energy in my body.  While I've physically taken care of me, I haven't been as diligent in my emotional and spiritual care.  I found myself asking, "wasn't that the point of the Red Tent, Ivy?"


Daily nurturing of our souls is vital to our growth.  After all, we would not expect our bodies to function for days on end without food.  Why should we treat our souls differently?  We're not bodies with souls; we're souls with bodies.  How can we expect vitality from our bodies (secondary) if our souls (primary) are malnourished? 


I am blessed with an abundance of time for the next few weeks.  I have no excuses.  I worry about what happens when I return to work but I'm not even focused on my immediate needs.  Being present, being aware is the key.  Daily meditation, contemplation, prayer, mindfulness ... whatever you choose to call it, is the food of our souls.  When our souls are well nourished, the process of opening occurs naturally.  


Today, I am opening up in sweet surrender to the Luminous Love Light of the One!